As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air on campus. . . or is it? At a school like Northwestern, the dating scene seems to be somewhat of a contentious topic:
IZZY PAREJA: How do you feel about the dating pool at Northwestern?
JOJO HOLM: . . . Not good.
ABIGAIL SPRINSKY: I know the radio people aren’t gonna see our faces but we made some cringe faces in response to that question.
Senior Jojo Holm and junior Abigail Sprinsky have had their fair share of experiences diving into dating at Northwestern, and are likely not alone in feeling less than happy with their attempts to look for love on campus.
Northwestern’s inter-student marriage rate has remained shockingly low compared to other colleges throughout its history, peaking at a measly 2.5% in 1979. Compared to the fact that about 28% of college graduates in the U.S. end up marrying someone who went to their same university, the Northwestern dating environment certainly does not guarantee success in developing lifelong partnerships.
So do Northwestern students have high standards, or are there elements of the environment that just add to the stress of dating?
HOLM: When it comes to casually dating, I would say that I have low standards just because I don’t put a whole lot of weight into that. But I think that when it comes to a long term commitment, I would say I have high standards.
SPRINSKY: I think that I do have kind of high standards. I’ve never really been the casual hookup person. I guess I’m generally always looking for something that’s going to turn into a relationship and so because I have like, the standard of just finding someone who I feel like I click with on a personality level and just feel comfortable with them really easily. Like that’s not something that’s like, super easy to come by.
HOLM: It’s also just like such a small school that I feel like the dating pool itself gets so convoluted with friendships. I remember I was just really worried about like, if I were to go on a date with this person, does this mess up my chance of being friends with their friend group, who I also think is cool? It was a lot easier to just sort of like, take to friendships and not try to bridge that weird gap.
SPRINSKY: It’s just really easy to find something that kind of turns us off, whether it’s like, looks or personality. I think as someone who has high standards, it’s hard to find someone who I feel like has what I’m looking for.
So what are Northwestern students looking for? Holm and Sprinsky reveal their personal reasons for being attracted to someone, ranging from very specific to broad traits. They both share one ideal quality, though, and that is emphasis on personality:
HOLM: Type wise, I feel like it’s always been really hard for me because I think I’ve been with people who sort of fit a whole lot of criteria.
SPRINKSY: For me, I think that there’s like two two parts of it. One part of it is like, I’m Jewish. And so there’s this big idea in Judaism your parents grill into you like: “marry someone Jewish, keep the culture going.” And so when I’m looking for people to date, I am generally interested in Jewish people because that’s a value to me.
HOLM: I think I’ve always said that I’m like, personality based, well over looks. I thought a lot about what is my type, and realizing that that comes from personality, makes it a whole lot harder to do sort of easy dating—like dating app stuff—like it’s hard to get somebody’s personality online.
SPRINSKY: It’s really important for me to be with someone who makes me laugh, I just enjoy laughter and feeling happy. And then also someone that like, is intelligent and intellectual and likes having pretty in-depth, interesting conversations.
As upperclassmen and veterans of the Northwestern dating scene, Holm and Sprinsky also share their tips for making the most out of the environment:
HOLM: I’m kind of pro just like being brave and making the first move. I think I see like a lot of people, especially women, sort of shying away from the idea of making the first move. Especially in such like a queer space as Northwestern, I just think that it can be really powerful and fun and exciting.
SPRINSKY: Look outside of your social circle, because even though Northwestern is small, there’s no way you’ll ever know anyone and there are so many like different types of people and different social circles out there. Maybe the person who is right for you to be with isn’t like in the clubs that you’re in or at the parties that you’re at, but maybe there’s a chance that you run into someone at something totally random.
For WNUR News, this is Izzy Pareja.
*Music by Keyframe Audio from Pixabay
