Why do we change?

There are very few fully universal experiences in life. Pretty much, the only two are that we were all born and we are all gonna die. But is that all? Surely humanity has to have at least some other shared experience. Right?

SANFORD GOLDBERG: I think probably everyone has had the experience of waking up one day and saying, I’m not the person that I want to be, or something is not right about my life. And I think that kind of inner pinch, if I can put it that way, can often motivate us to want to change.

This desire to improve, to pivot, to change is what I and many others believe to be innate to humankind. But why? What drives all of us to improve and to change when we could just…not. It’s these sorts of questions that fascinate Northwestern Philosophy professor Sanford Goldberg. The motivation to change is unique to every person, but Goldberg offers two broad explanations on why this occurs.

GOLDBERG: Human beings are creatures that have the ability to distinguish between what is the case and what ought to be the case. And I think when we think about what ought to be the case, we often apply that to ourselves, and that we see we ought to be in ways that we aren’t. And that’s one thing that might motivate us to change.

But it’s not always internal, which brings us to the second motivator.

GOLDBERG: We also are creatures that have aspirations. And aspirations usually are things that are not currently true, either of us or of our communities, but things that could be true if we applied ourselves to it. And we often have to change ourselves in order to try to realize the aspirations that we have.

Jason Hill, a Professor of Philosophy at DePaul University shares this outlook. To him, change requires us to interact and learn from those around us.

JASON HILL: We all need to be affirmed. The pathology of a kind of rugged individualism that is part of the American culture has largely gotten in the way of us seeking to find what a core common humanity holds for all of us. That is, I’m an individual, you’re an individual, but in spite of our individuality, there’s still common features of our humanity that we share together.

Goldberg and Hill both offer these incredible concepts….but there’s just that, concepts. So ok, we have these ideas of who we want to be and how that will impact those around us, but how exactly can we make that happen? 

HILL: So I share with my students, it could translate into something like just practicing good manners, saying hello to someone, to a stranger, affirming the best within yourself on a day to day basis, applying your agency in the world. And that in and of itself is an affirmation, not from other people, just a self affirmation of oneself in the name of the best within oneself.

This idea of self-improvement and change isn’t just limited to philosophy though. In fact, this notion powers a whole industry.

NANCY PESKE: I think that self-help is a broader genre than it was defined as years ago. 

That’s Nancy Peske, a writer and ghost-writer who has worked on various books, including many in the self-help genre. 

PESKE: It used to be thought of as only pop psychology, but now as we look at it, you could say that financial advice or books on health advice could be considered self-help books as well. And I think it’s that people may want to improve themselves, but it’s probably more likely that they want to improve their lives in some way. 

These books have taken many forms over the years: life hacks dominated the market a while ago, yet now neuroscience related books are all the rage. But despite this, the principles at the heart of these books remain the same. 

PESKE: I think people just want to be happier and feel more secure. I think that’s really the core. And what I discovered in working on self-help is that the structure of self-help books is pretty much the same over the years over different types of self-help.

And while these books provide readers with the tools to feel happier and more secure, Peske stresses that this sort of change doesn’t and shouldn’t happen overnight.

PESKE: We are creatures of habit. And so, we can get really tough on ourselves about not making changes because we’re working against our brains and we’re trying to counteract old patterns that came into our unconscious long before we could consciously reject or accept them. 

Goldberg notices this same struggle with personal change and identifies a few more culprits

GOLDBERG: Laziness, status quo, all sorts of things. The very thing that keeps you on the sofa when you’re watching episode after episode of your favorite series is something that gets in the way of self-improvement, if only because the kinds of self-improvement that we’re talking about, involve self-discipline. And that does involve a bit of work and effort.

And yes, that is hard. But nothing worth having, doing, or being should come easily. It’s the work that makes things worthwhile.

GOLDBERG: I often look at my own life and find all sorts of ways in which I think I’m falling short of things that I would like to be or like to be able to do. And I imagine that there will never be a point at which I can say, I’ve now achieved everything that I’d like to achieve. I have all the skills that I’d like to have. I never fail in any of these ways. And that, of course, is a motive to constantly strive.

Now upon hearing this, you might then go, “well if I’m never going to be done in this quest of self-improvement, why change at all? Why not just stay the same?” Well, Hill has a counter point, our existence, our impact, is often bigger than ourselves.

HILL: you never know the potency that your agency, that your character, that your benevolence can have in the world. We can make a difference if it’s even on the micro level. 

And it’s that desire to make positive changes and make differences that have us keep striving and make us unequivocally, universally, human.

For WNUR News, I’m Sophia Casa.