The Northwestern Student’s Guide to Dating Apps

ARE YOU SINGLE, READY TO MINGLE, AND LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO SPEND VALENTINE’S DAY WITH? SCARED TO MAKE THINGS AWKWARD BY ASKING OUT SOMEONE IN YOUR CLASS WITH 3 WEEKS STILL LEFT IN THE QUARTER? ENTER THE EXCITING WORLD OF DATING APPS, WHERE YOU CAN MEET PEOPLE LOOKING FOR LOVE (OR LESS) FROM THE COMFORT AND SAFETY OF YOUR OWN DORM ROOM. ALTHOUGH IT CAN ALL BE VERY EXCITING, THOSE WHO HAVE USED DATING APPS BEFORE LIKELY KNOW THE FEELING OF BEING SUCKED INTO A SWIPING LOOP, WHERE LOOKING AT JUST ONE MORE PROFILE CAN LEAD TO ANOTHER HOUR OF BEING GLUED TO THE SCREEN. IF YOU’RE EXPECTING TO HAVE TO BE PARTICULARLY PRODUCTIVE DURING THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT EXACTLY YOU’RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO BEFORE YOU HIT DOWNLOAD. I SAT DOWN WITH SOPHOMORE COMPUTER SCIENCE, RTVF, AND ART HISTORY TRIPLE MAJOR GEORGE SEGRESS TO GET MORE INSIGHT ON HOW EXACTLY THESE APPS FUNCTION: 

[George Segress]: I am a CS major and really interested in user design, especially in relation to video games, but a lot of these apps work a lot like video games. I have read articles that go into and say basically that Tinder, behind the scenes, they basically rate your profile and will give you a numerical rating, and then, depending on what behavior they want from you, they will give you different numbers for you to swipe on. So like when you first download the app, they show you high numbers to get you interested in the app, and then they gradually decrease it, which you think would decrease the amount of time you spend on the app, but it actually increases it, because then you’re seeking out intermittent reinforcement, where you basically will only get a reward every once in a while and it’s random, and so you start to seek it more, so it’s literally like a slot machine. When it finally starts to have the opposite effect, you start to spend less time on the app, then it will give you high numbers that have actually swiped on you, then now you’re matching with hot people. So then you want to stay more, and then they can decrease it again because you’ve been intermittently reinforced. So it’s a cycle. 

SO IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE TIME TO DEVELOP ONE MORE SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION, DATING APPS CAN BE FUN AND EASY WAYS TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE YOU WOULDN’T NORMALLY COME ACROSS EVERY DAY, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY DON’T OFFER THEIR FAIR SHARE OF ODD OR UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCES. TO HELP YOU AVOID THIS, I INTERVIEWED STUDENTS FOR THEIR TIPS AND TRICKS FOR ONLINE DATING AT NORTHWESTERN. HERE ARE SEGRESS AND FELLOW NORTHWESTERN STUDENTS DELILAH SCHMUECK, EERO SOMERS, AND ELIZABETH EGRESITS WITH THEIR TAKES ON THE BEST DATING APPS AND ADVICE FOR SURVIVING THE ONLINE DATING WORLD. 

[Izzy Pareja]: What’s your favorite dating app to use and why? 

[GS]: I don’t like any of them (laughs). Hinge seems to be the most like slowest paced, it doesn’t use as much of the yucky algorithm stuff, but it still does use it. I would actually say this is gay

male exclusive, but Grindr is the most transparent, where it’s like you’re here for a hookup and there’s no complications. It’s just like, utilitarian almost. 

[Delilah Schmueck]: I only use Tinder. The other ones all seem a lot more work. And you have to think a lot more when you’re making your profile and put a lot more effort into it and like, people really care about what you put and use that to make real judgments, where Tinder is just like a fun little swipey game with some pictures. 

[Eero Somers]: I would say, in all honesty, I’ve only used Tinder, so probably that. But I’ve used other people’s hinge accounts, if that counts. 

[Elizabeth Egresits]: Hinge is my favorite, because Bumble, women have to message first, which sometimes, I’m lazy. Tinder is really creepy, and Hinge is just like funny prompts. It’s not like an immediate match with someone—I get to look at their profile before I decide. It’s like a nice little surprise. Plus, you can see who liked you. Like in Tinder, you’re just like, well, like I hope. 

[IP]: What are your best strategies? 

[GS]: I prefer to just be funny, especially for like hinge prompts. I feel like that’s not the place for a serious dissertation on your thoughts of two truths and a lie. 

[DS]: If a guy’s first picture either covers his face, like you can’t see his face, is a group picture with no indication of which one he is, or if it’s a shirtless picture right off the bat, it’s an automatic no, because those are all just too much. 

[ES]: I’m not on there looking for like, love or really anything. So most of the time it’s whatever brings me and the people in my general vicinity the most joy to say. Me and my friends, which is kind of crazy, we’ll gather around as like, 10 or 12 people, and we’ll just look at the same person’s Tinder and we’ll decide as a unit, as like a democratic process. It’s like a fun little game. 

[EE]: I would say that I usually never message someone first, unless I have something interesting to say., I need to be like “oh, you like this, so do I.” Or like, some funny line that has to do with their profile. I’m never just gonna say “hey” on the rare occasions I do message someone first, because again, I’m busy. I’m booked and busy, I’m lazy. 

[IP]: Do you have any words of wisdom or warning to share with people who have never used dating apps before? 

[GS]: It doesn’t define you as a person, which I feel like is obvious but like, it doesn’t feel like that sometimes. If you’re really looking for it, it will happen. And I feel like some of my better relationships have happened in person and not through dating apps.

[DS]: Sometimes it feels like it’s just a fun little game, where they’re just showing you some fun little random things. And then sometimes those random little things you’ve swiped right on turn into real people that are really trying really hard to make plans. And they are real and you have to remember that because they are going to do unpredictable things and that’s frightening, that they can actually request to see you. 

[ES]: Be nice to people, even if it’s just like jokes and stuff. Nothing absolutely horrendous, because friends of mine that are women have shown me screenshots of the most atrocious stuff ever. 

[EE]: Stay witty. And if someone gives you a gross comment, just unmatch with them. There’s no point unless you feel like playing into it. Because that can be fun. And then just be like, “EW,” which also works. Do not be precise about your location. Do not give too much information to people you do not know. If a man who’s over the age of 20 asks for your Snapchat, run, because you’re 20 years old. Sometimes, it’s a game, like just have fun. It’s not that serious. But at the end of the day, there is a real live person over there, on the other side, who could be dangerous, who could be emotional. Like “F it we ball,” but also be responsible. And be safe. Don’t go to a tinder man’s house on the first time. Have him come to you if you want, or in a public setting. Never hiking, never an apartment, never his car. Never talk to a UChicgao man. Never. Ever. They are the worst, and also the enemy. 

THERE YOU HAVE IT: A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR SURVIVING NORTHWESTERN’S ONLINE DATING SCENE. BEST OF LUCK TO ALL THOSE LOOKING FOR LOVE OR WHATEVER ELSE THIS VALENTINE’S DAY, AND HAPPY SWIPING. 

FOR WNUR NEWS, THIS IS IZZY PAREJA.